GMOT Hangover


WEEK 4

GMOT Expert Handicappers go 10-10 on the week. Now 31-29 on the season. Still over .500!

BAD LEAGUE

Fishsticks 2.0 def Trippin Balls 5-1
The Fishsticks cruise to another easy victory in the BAD League and upped their annoyance factor exponentially with the vuvuzelas they brought to the game. Surprisingly, this new version of the Fishsticks are also going the Costa Messy route of using excuses like engagements, marriages, jobs, etc as excuses for not going to Sharkeez after the games.

Sex Panthers def Skeet Skeet (forfeit) 5-0
GMOT has heard rumors that this forfeit by Skeet Skeet was not an accident. They are under major scrutiny from WAKA National, and a loss to the Sex Panthers would have definitely demoted them to the 1st Grade Recess C League. Apparently the Frank N Beans 2.0 Team is waiting in the wings to be promoted from the 3rd Grade Recess League to the BAD League.

Just The Tip def Arsenio Balls 4-3
This was the guy version of Balls N Dolls vs TWSS, featuring the Playgirl Team (JTT) and the blotchy sexiness of Arsenio Balls. With so many sexy men running all over the field, dropping fly balls, overthrowing first base, and not knowing how to tag up, the ladies of Surf City were beside themselves.

No Class def Shamwows 3-1
No Class continues to be the "class" of the BAD league. Commish Sa has hired a new IT Staff to check into his version of Excel because it now has 2 BAD League Teams in the Top 5 of the standings. There is obviously a major error in the system.

THRILLER LEAGUE

Vampirates def Balls In Your Face 9-0
Obviously, it was the refs from the Scoregasms that cost Balls in Your Face this game. It wasn't the first baseman dropping everything thrown to him, or the horrible pitching by Jason "Ironman" Badgley, or the WAKA Shame-esque strikeout by the hapless BIYF kicker. No, it had to be the refs from the Scoregasms. And after the game, BIYF was feeling confident (for no apparent reason) and challenged the Scoregasms to game of Lipfay Upcay where they lost at least 10 straight games.

Inglorious Blasters def. Chestnuts 8-3
The Blasters (almost all rookies) get into the win column, beating their fellow rookies by 5 runs. This game is a perfect example why you don't bet on rookie on rookie games. Might as well just flip a coin.

Balls N Dolls def That's What She Said 2-1
There was some amazing kickball on display in this great matchup. The Balls N Dolls girls' shirts are down to a single thread, and GMOT hopes the TWSS ladies were inspired by their uniform modification skills. Oh, and Balls N Dolls ended up winning, led by the powerful right arm and ravishing good looks of Vampirate defector, Dave Spitz.

Scoregasms def Boats N Ho's 2-1
The Scoregasms' streak of 18 consecutive scoreless innings came to an end in the bottom of the 5th inning, when they allowed the Boats N Ho's to put up their only run. The team was allowed to be happy with the win for 15 minutes, then it was back to practice and film study to diagnose their run scoring problems.

HISTORY LEAGUE

WAKA Shame def Frank N Beans 2-1
If anything, WAKA Shame sure knows how to make things dramatic, whether it's striking out with the bases loaded, or kicking game winning, walk-off home runs. Frank N Beans held the lead the entire game, but the decision to ground Johnny All-Star mid-game for making fun of his parents lack of kickball skill came back to bite them in the bottom of the 5th.

Golden Showers def Hero's Pub 6-0
The Showers have put together a 2 game winning streak for the first time this season, and look to be regaining the form that led GMOT to predict them to win the History League. They still have matchups with the Mobile Homies and TYMT left, so a league title still might be a possiblity. Overcoming Jim "Mays" Hayes and his history of incredible plays will be the challenge.

Mobile Homies def Grass Kickers 11-0
It was a flashback to Summer of 2005 for the Homies, as they beat up on the rookies like the douchebags they are. The Homies rookies are starting to fully grasp the concept of what it takes to be a douchebag, which has helped the Homies stay atop the HISTORY League.

Tell Your Mom Thanks def. Grass Kickers 8-4
The HGH received from HBALCO has helped TYMT re-capture their old form as one of the better teams in Surf City. Jake looks 15 years younger (about 66 now) and his bionic hips and arthritic knees feel better than they have in years. The team will sit atop the HISTORY League with their arch-rivals the Homies for at least one more week.

DANGEROUS LEAGUE

Cereal Killers def Rubber Balls 2-0
In a minor upset, the Cereal Killers defeated the closet munters, Rubber Balls in a game that featured non-stop bunting action... Ok, we made that whole thing up. This game was so boring we left before it started.

Yeah, I'll Hit That def Pink Tacos 5-2
After a nice run as a halfway decent team, the Tacos are back to their old Blue Balls of Fury level of 3 seasons ago. The New Tac-ho is now 0-2 and has reportedly been sent back to Mexico and a newer, improved winning Tac-ho is on her way. Y,IHT gets their first win and the second for a team of grammatically correct douchebags with a comma in their name in Surf City history.

Booyakasha def ULLINAD 3-2
See what happens when Booyakasha doesn't have to sit in traffic every week, spending hours in their raised up pickup trucks on their way to the game? Since they're already here for the 3-day weekend (like the rest of the 909), they come to the games ready to play. They have now beat the #1 team two weeks in a row. This might be the first time in Surf City History that this has happened. Booyakasha is now debating the merits of their Fastrac Sponsorship, although it does get them out here earlier on Friday afternoons.

Burning Sensations def Hold My Beer 7-4
The Sensations got back on the winning track, defeating Hold My Beer, Watch Me Actually Play Decent and Score a Few Runs Tonight. While the Sensations are enjoying a good comeback season, they reportedly miss the presence of "Mean Girl" and are in negotiations to re-acquire their star trash-talker.

INVINCIBLE LEAGUE

Sofa King Easy def Care Bears 4-0
It's only fitting that the Care Bears live up to their horrible name by being the 40th ranked kickball team in Surf City. I still think that's pretty awesome, that in this league, a team can be ranked #40. Holy crap. You have to feel like shit having 39 teams above you. And Happy Birthday to SofaKing Douchebagette #2, Stephanie. #1 and #3, you know who you are.

Slow Children Playing def. Thanks 4 Stopping By 10-4
Commish Sa and WAKA National are launching a full investigation into the eligibility of players that Slow Children Playing had last week. You don't go scoreless for three weeks, then put up 10 in a game. So, just come clean that you 'borrowed' Johnny All-Star from Frank N Beans and the Commish will go soft on you with the punishment.

MFKB def Kick'n Your Balls 5-1
The Kave Ballas got revenge for their loss last week, beating up on the formerly undefeated rookies, Kick'n Your Balls. GMOT is still trying to figure out why there is an apostrophe between the "k" and "n" in Kick'n. Maybe we can ask one of the grammatically correct douchebag comma teams to help out.

Flipadelphia def Menace 2 Sobriety 1-0
FF Flipadelphia is the master of the one run game, and are playing ULLINAD-esque defense this season, only allowing one run in 4 games. Star pitcher Jason McSweeney Sween Sween Sweeney has a 0.25 ERA so far and is rumored to be looking ahead to his free agency this summer, since he is the most hyped player since LeBron James. Apparently his connections to Redheadband Guy in his inner circle has dimished/enhanced his value, depending on how douchebaggy the team is.

WEEK 3

NIGHT OF THE UPSET! Still, GMOT Experts go 8-12... We're still over .500 at 21-19 so stick with us!

BAD LEAGUE

Shamwows def Skeet Skeet 3-0
DALTS II, one of the worst teams in Surf City history is now 2-1 on the season, which speaks volumes to the amazingly bad level of play in the BAD League. With the embarrassing loss, Skeet Skeet is facing relegation to the HB Elementary 2nd grade Recess C League, where they will get destroyed by the Frank N Beans Junior Team.

Fishsticks 2.0 def Arsenio's Balls 2-0
Arsenio's Balls falls to their ex-teammates on the original DALTS in a closer than expected game. The Fishsticks 2.0 might not have their "let's destroy all the shitty teams" game back yet, but their annoyance factor is rising and approaching mid-season form.

No Class def Sex Panthers 1-0
What is this? Defense being played in the BAD League? Or was it just a bunch of pop-ups to the pitcher? No one will ever know because the GMOT writers didn't bother to cover this game.

Trippin Balls def Just The Tip 3-1
Apparently, the JTT guys couldn't play with the boners they had from checking out the Trippin Balls girls stretching before the game. Trippin Balls gets their first win in Surf City play.

THRILLER LEAGUE

Scoregasms def Inglorious Blasters 2-0
The overly serious douchebags pull out another close game, relying on their defense to extend their shutout streak to 14 consecutive innings. Mandatory two-a-day extra kicking practice will be held this week by the Scoregasms in hopes of jump starting their offense.

That's What She Said def Balls in Your Face 5-1
TWSS gets their first win of the season, with the help of their angry kickball dads. Balls In Your Face extend their Bitterest Team in Surf City Streak to 2 weeks and even extended it to Sharkeez after the game.

ChestNuts def Boats N Ho's 5-4
GMOT is checking to see if any of the Boats N Ho's players got hurt, leading to their upset loss to the ChestNuts. So far, no Boats N Ho's players were admitted to the HB Hospital ER, but Hoag is invoking privacy laws to withhold information.

Vampirates def Balls N Dolls 2-0
Commish Sa decided to try the "Nice Guy" route again with the Balls N Dolls girls. Obviously, it failed as the Commish was seen eating a lonely steak skewer at Coach's, while ex-Vampirate Dave Spitz was seen partying it up with his new team at Sharkeez. The Commish is thinking of pulling the "go to a bad team and be the hero" route next season with We Got the Runs when they come back next season.

HISTORY LEAGUE

Golden Showers def KIOS 4-3
Finally, the Showers find a way to hide Jim "Mays" Hayes on the field and not let him blow the game for them. Maybe their new strategy will help them start a winning streak to move up the History League standings.

Mobile Homies def Frank N Beans 6-0
The Homies new recruits are starting to feel more comfortable as they are starting to show many douchebag tendencies. This is especially true for Homie Rookie Megan, as she not only screamed at the refs on a play where she was out by 6 feet, but she even gave the ref the super douchebaggy "Double Bird." After some doubts early in the season about her douchebagginess, she was instantly accepted into the Homies inner-circle.

TYMT def Hero's Pub 6-2
The Leisure World All-Stars Cocoon-like comeback season continues. Obviously, they've found at least a little part of the Fountain of Youth in their relationship with HBALCO. Jake's bionic hip is said to be in it's best condition in years.

WAKA Shame def Grass Kickers 5-3
Fueled by the embarrassment of striking out looking, WAKA Shame is out for redemption. Their writeups continue to make douchebaggy excuses for the strike out, hoping that being bitchy and bitter will make everyone forget about "Caught Looking" Chris. So far, it's not working.

DANGEROUS LEAGUE

Hold My Beer def Rubber Balls 2-0
HMBWT gets their first win, defeating the Closet Munters in a defensive struggle. Other than that, it was a pretty uneventful game.

Cereal Killers def. Pink Tacos 5-3
The is the first major upset of the night, as one of the cupcakes on the schedule surprised the Tacos and took them down. It was the replacement Tac-ho's first night on the job, and team officials have questioned their new hire.

Booyakasha def Burning Sensations 2-1
The 909 All-Star Squad had representatives from their Fastrac sponsor at the games, and they played inspired kickball in their upset of the previously #1 Burning Sensations. After the game, some Fastrac officials (and fellow 909ers) showed their respect by getting Booya and Kasha tattooed on each of their forearms. Booyakasha responed with Fast Trac knuckle tats.

ULLINAD def Yeah I'll Hit That 14-0
ULLINAD had an offensive explosion last night, and YIHT might have proven themselves to be the worst team in Surf City this season. They now sport a cool NEGATIVE 25 in the run differential column. Look out Care Bears, you might have some competition for the 40th spot!

INVINCIBLE LEAGUE

Sofa King Easy def Slow Children Playing 7-0
The New Douchebags (especially those 3 SFD girls) rebounded after last week's loss to MFKB with a win over the team that took a month to come up with their lame name. Obviously, the combination of Blake's Super Aggro XXL Douchebag Intensity Drink, Ryan Subazuki's Ladies Man Skills, and Matt's Mustache is powering the team to new heights.

Thanks 4 Stopping def Menace 2 Sobriety 3-2
The name change couldn't help the Fist Pumpers, err, Menace 2 Sobriety win the battle of teams with numbers in their names. In this case, the term "battle" is used to describe a game played between two very unathletic teams who can't run, catch or kick, where the outcome is dictated by pure chance and luck, not skill.

Flipadelphia def MFKB 1-0
Led by the best pitcher in Surf City, Jason McSweeney Sween Sween Sweeney Sween, Lameadelphia pulled off the Upset of the Night. MFKB could not recover from losing their leadoff hitter to a potentially season ending injury, or the classless, asshole, potty-mouth taunts of Mr Red Headband to Mean Girl. Rumor has it that the Fall American Gladiator team is in negotiations with McSweeney Sween to be their starting pitcher next season.

Kick'n Your Balls def Care Bears 13-2
Care Bears should change their team motto to "We Make Every Team We Play Look Like Superstars." They actually pulled ahead of DALTS II for the "Worst Kickball Team in History" title through Week 3. In order to keep up the pace, they will have to allow 12 or more runs every week for the rest of the season. Odds are they will be able to suck enough to capture the crown.

WEEK 2
GMOT Experts go 13-7 in Week 2 against the spread. We will be opening our 800 number next week to give you our Stone Cold Lead Pipe Lock of the Week for Week 3! Absolutely Free!

BAD LEAGUE

Fishsticks 2.0 def Sex Panthers, 5-1
All things are right in the world again. Fishsticks are getting more annoying, and the Sex Panthers are back to losing. After Sex Panthers win last week, residents of HB were seen stockpiling reserves as a Sex Panther win is one sign of the Apocalypse.

Just the Tip def Skeet Skeet, 6-5
Just the Tip was on thin ice with WAKA National, as they were about to lose in consecutive weeks to Sex Panther and then Skeet Skeet. They avoided relegation to the HB Elementary 2nd Grade Recess B League by kicking a walk off home run to win the game in the bottom of the 5th.

Slapchops N Shamwows def Arsenio's Balls, 3-2
Slapchops N Shamwows (DALTS II) gets their first win of all-time by defeating the members of the former DALTS I team by a run. They celebrated their win with awkward high-fives and uncoordinated team chant.

No Class def Trippin Balls, 5-1
In a little bit of a disappointment, No Class only defeated Tripping Balls by four runs, as many HB gamblers were expecting more of a blowout. No Class improves to 2-0 in the horrible, pathetic, BAD League.

THRILLER LEAGUE

Scoregasms def Balls In Your Face, 4-0
The Scoregasms played solid defense (as usual) and pulled away late in their matchup against the rookie Dodgeball All-Stars, who also might be the most rabid anti-buntites in the league. They also try to peg everyone rather than throwing to the base, which fueled the Scoregasm rally late in the game.

Balls n Dolls ties ChestNuts, 3-3
Balls n Dolls is still undefeated after a hard fought tie with the ChestNuts, however, their winning streak was stopped at 1. Even with the low level of play, it was a beautiful game to watch.

Boats N Hoes def That's What She Said, 6-4
Wow. When healthy, the former Team Hung is pretty good. Last night they beat the team of 87 in a high scoring game. Multiple fly balls were misjudged and dropped, leading to lots of scoring. The play of the night was made by the Boats N Hos rightfielder who caught a pop fly in the dark to seal the victory.

Vampirates def Inglourious Blasters, 8-0
Wow, the Blasters must have thought it was kickball daycare night as they brought group of future kickballers with them last night. WAKA and Commish Sa are feverishly working to get a Blaster's Kids vs Frank N Beans Kids grudge match organized for later this season. Nothing like starting the path to douchebagdom at an early age.

HISTORY LEAGUE

Frank N Beans def Kick'n it Old School, 9-0
Alright, someone needs to start checking IDs. Frank N Beans kids were obviously there last night, because there's no way their parents win in this big of a blowout. Johnny All-Star must have made an appearance, and the drawn on mustache and stubble must have fooled the KIOS players.

WAKA Shame def Golden Showers, 3-2
Here at GMOT, we were a little too optimistic about the Showers chances this season. They closed last season well, but so far have blown 2 straight games to start the season. "Caught Looking" Chis claims to have redeemed himself by kicking a home run, but it was really a comedy of errors and he kept running. GMOT looks forward to WAKA Shame's bitter writeup this week, making more excuses on why/how he struck out looking.

Mobile Homies ties TYMT, 1-1
It's only fitting that this matchup of old, struggling veteran teams would end up tying, as neither could work up the necessary skill, energy, or will to actually win. The Homies are slowly fading into oblivion, while TYMT relationship with HBALCO has produced Cocoon-like effects and help keep them from fading further. I know I just lost 99% of the league with the Cocoon reference. Google it you youngin's.

Grass Kickers def Hero's Pub, 5-3
Grass Kickers tied the Golden Showers last week and Hero's Pub beat Frank N Beans. Then Grass Kickers beat Hero's Pub, which means that they all just really suck.

DANGEROUS LEAGUE

Pink Tacos def Hold My Beer, Watch This, 17-5
Hold My Beer, Watch This, the only team ever with a comma in their name (grammatically correct douchebags) will now be known as Please Hold My Beer While I Get My Ass Handed To Me. You have to really suck to give up 17 runs... you have to try to be that bad. Still no Tac-Ho though for the Tacos.

Booyakasha def Rubber Balls, 5-2
Booyakasha is off to an undefeated start, beating the closet munters, Rubber Balls. At least Rubber Balls was funny in their hatred for bunting, not being super bitter about it like the Dodgeball Rookies. Booyakasha capped another great 3-day weekend in HB before loading up their raised up pickup trucks and driving back to Hemet.

Burning Sensations def Yeah I'll Hit That, 13-3
The Burning Sensations comeback tour continued this week against a horrible team of rookies. However, if the Sensations want to cement themselves as a top-tier, douchebag team, they can't give up three runs to a bunch of 2nd grade level players. Mercy is for the weak.

ULLINAD def Cereal Killers, 10-1
The team who chose the Olive shirts killed the Killers by seven runs. I'm sure the one run they allowed came when they tried to overcompensate for their fugly shirts and show off and make a play kicking the ball to first or pegging a girl in the face.

INVINCIBLE LEAGUE

Thanks 4 Stopping By def Care Bears, 7-2
Bad team defeats worse team. At least make it interesting by injuring a girl or getting in a fight, otherwise, you get a recap like this...

MFKB def Sofa King Douchebags, 6-3
The new Douchebags lost to the Kave Douchebags in a fairly close matchup. Normally, MFKB cruises through the regular season, never allowing a run or winning by less than 10. While Sofa King Douchebags lost, they gained a little more confidence in being able to hang with the better teams. GMOT is still investigating who MFKB hired to write their recap last week, as we all know MFKB is incapable of anything except grunts, groans, and primitive kave paintings.

Kick'n Your Balls def Effen Fist Pumpers, 1-0
The Fist Pumpers fall from decency continues in dramatic, Hoes-like fashion. The Fist Pumpers made it all the way to the Final Four last season, but conflicts in the clubhouse led to all the good players leaving the team. They are now facing a mid-season demotion to the BAD League.

Lame Lame Lameadelphia def TBD, 5-0
After back to back losses to start the season, GMOT only feels it fitting to name them Drunk Again and Looking to Score the Fourth. DALTS IV is their new name. It has been the team name of the worst teams in Surf City history and we feel DALTS IV will live up to the responsibilities of sucking ass.

WEEK1

BAD LEAGUE

Fishsticks 2.0 def Slapchops n Shamwows 3-0
The Fishsticks 2.0 is definitely a quieter version of the formerly boisterous team. Maybe it was week one jitters, but the annoyance factor was surprisingly low. This was a matchup of the original DALTS against DALTS II, from the Fall 2009 season, who in their 11 games in Surf City have yet to score a run.

Skeet Skeet def Trippin Balls 5-3
Undefeated! That was the line heard from the Skeet Skeet players after their week 1 win. They shouldn't get too excited though, because this a team known to peak early and fade into the playoffs. Last season they got off to fast 1-0 start before losing 9 straight to end the season.

No Class def. Arsenio's Balls 9-0
DALTS III, who was winless last season, finally broke through as No Class. They defeated members of the original DALTS (obviously, the crappy ones), in a one sided blowout. Don't get too excited though, you beat a team that would get smoked by third graders at HB Elementary.

Sex Panthers def. Just The Tip 2-1
Losing to the Sex Panthers is one of the most shameful things that can happen to a kickballer, probably right ahead of "proposing to your girlfriend during kickball with everyone watching and her saying NO." Hopefully, WAKA National doesn't see this result because losing to Sex Panthers can be grounds for immediate dismissal from Surf City. Especially when the defeated team has multiple double plays turned against them by the defensively inept Sex Panthers.

THRILLER LEAGUE

Balls In Your Face def. ChestNuts 2-1
Rookie team of Dodgeball Superstars beats a team of rookies with no skill and barely wins. Just proves that no matter how athletic you are, it takes some time to figure out kickball strategy. BIYF could be a surprise team as the season progresses.

Balls N Dolls def. Inglorious Blasters 4-2
Balls N Dolls finally wins a game! They finally lose their "L" card. Led by former Vampirate Dave Spitz, the team pulled out a close game against the Blasters, who by their own admission, might be the least athletic team this side of Just the Tip. GMOT Insiders report Dave was seen icing his arm after the game, and biomechanical researchers are concerned his max-effort pitching style will lead to his arm falling off after the next game. BND Girls still top the Hottest Team rankings... even though Dave brings the team down a notch.

Scoregasms def. TWSS 2-1 (6 innings)
The first extra inning game of the season ended with the Scoregasms barely pulling out the win. TWSS uses the tactic of trying to ovewhelm their opponents with wave after wave of players, hoping to win the war of attrition. The Scoregasms set a Surf City record for popouts to the catcher, and being the douchebags they are, held extra kicking practice until the lights went out after the game. They are also being investigated by WAKA for violating the 40 hour limit on practice time during the week.

Vampirates def. Boats N Hoes 3-0
GMOT writers did not realize that Boats N Hoes is made up of some Team Hung players from last season. We didn't recognize them without casts, bandages, crutches, gurnies, and braces. Either the Vampirates suck this season, only scoring 3 runs on a team that gave up 18 to MFKB, or when they're healed, the Team Hung players are actually pretty good.

HISTORY LEAGUE

Hero's Pub def. Frank n Beans 9-1
It's the end of the school year, which means finals for Johnny All-Star and book reports and solar system models for the rest of the Frank N Beans kids (their good players). They came up short last night against the rookie Hero's Pub.

Golden Showers tie Grass Kickers 8-8
What happens when the Showers are up 8-2 going into the 5th inning? Of course, Jim "Mays" Hayes finds a way to blow it! Apparently his foot has trouble staying on the base when he's covering first. Even the Scoregasms (after last season's epic blow ups, Scoregasm = choke job) don't meltdown this bad!

Mobile Homies def. Kickn' It Old School 3-0
The Homies descent to Hoes/Sex Panther status continues. Only beating a rookie team 3-0 shows how far the team has fallen. Normally, they run up the score so bad that the rookies don't even show up the next week. Maybe it's time to take the "Douchebag" label from the vets. The GMOT rumor mill is reporting that Homies players have tried to contact TYMT players to acquire memberships at HBALCO.

TYMT def. WAKA SHAME 2-0
WAKA SHAME veteran Chris Katinos had a chance to tie the game in the 5th inning with runners on base and no outs. So what does he do? He gets 3 total pitches and strikes out "looking." EPIC FAIL. TYMT managed to hang on for the W, even without their star pitcher Jake, who said the 9 PM game was past his bedtime. He was later found at his Leisure World apartment staying up late watching Perry Mason and Golden Girls reruns.

DANGEROUS LEAGUE

Rubber Balls def. Yeah I'll Hit That 5-4 (7 innings)
The first game to go to the crazy WAKA extra innings rule ends when Rubber Balls repeatedly munted and manufactureda run. After the game, they remained in munting denial and said that they still despised the strategy and didn't use it in their victory, despite survelliance video showing the opposite.

ULLINAD def. Pink Tacos 4-0
The Tac-ho did not make her debut at the first game of the season, but her effects were still felt on the field as ball after ball slipped through the Tacos greasy hands. ULLINAD managed to overcome their Olive shirts to pull out the win.

Booyakasha def. Hold My Beer 4-2
The 909ers had a great 3-day weekend in HB, capping it off with a win on Monday night over the rookies, HMBWT. After the game they packed up their toy haulers and drove their raised up pickups back to their soon to be foreclosed homes in Hemet.

Burning Sensations def. Cereal Killers 7-0
Two seasons ago, the Burning Sensations were one of the better teams in Surf City, but the entire team was on quarantine last season after contracting a previously unknown mutant form of... well, I'm sure you get the idea. Now the problem with their privates has gone away for now and they are back to try and cement themselves as a top team in the league.

INVINCIBLE LEAGUE

Sofa King Easy def. Effen Fist Pumpers 14-0
Attention Surf City Kickball: We have a new Douchebag team in the league! SFE will now be referred to as SFD (Sofa King Douchebags) for the rest of the season. You don't run up the score 14-0 and pull the "only 5 girls show up" strategy unless you're really a bunch of d-bags.

Thanks 4 Stopping By ties Flipadelphia 1-1
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz ...

MFKB def. Care Bears 11-0
With a name like the Care Bears, you deserve to get beat at least 11-0 every week. In fact, WAKA rules state with a name that lame, you automatically start with a 5 run deficit and everyone on the other team gets to punch you in the gut and give you a wedgie. GMOT is eagerly awaiting MF Kave Ballas cave painting writeup of the slaughter.

Kick'n Your Balls def. TBD 4-0
This matchup of rookies was the GMOT Furlough Game of the Week. One team hasn't even chosen a name yet. If they don't choose by next Monday, the GMOT Team Name Committee is picking one for you, and it won't be nice and cuddly like the Care Bears.