Power Rankings



1) Das Boot (1-0) – reigning champs get the benefit of the doubt. The majority of this team is new faces, so expect a step back from the days of Morally Casual. Nobody has an idea how you should pitch under the new rules, so the opportunity is there for any team to knock them off the top.

2) Ligers (1-0) – Two ways to look at it. A win is a win and I expect big things from Mammal Toes this season. However, getting challenged by a team of newbee’s is no way to make a statement. Only time will tell. Is it going to be another season of W’s for the Ligers or are they on the other side of the glory days?

3) Scared Kickless (1-0) – Giving respect where it is due here. That was a tough matchup in week one vs. a resilient Ronnie Ronson team. SK left about 10 people on base over the course of the game, which the more veteran teams will pounce on. Get it together. Word of advice I shouldn’t have to give, don’t bunt when the bases are loaded.

4) Stanky Legs (1-0) – 7 runs, niiiiice. Very Impressive. You’ll have a tougher text next week vs. Drunk Again. I look forward to watching this team progress over the season. Keep up the good work and you’ll go far.

5) Orange Jubilee (1-0) – The captains of this team have been around since before I started playing kickball, so I expect big things from them this season. They will get the opportunity to impress vs. Ronnie Ronsons next week.

6) Drunk Again (1-0) – Veteran captains creating a new squad could make things interesting. I remember Franzen’s team moving up to the top 3 last season in the power rankings before plummeting. Let’s hope they can keep it together this time around. I’m sorry, but Bryce looked retarded at your game. Good luck with that.

7) Ronnie Ronsons (0-1) – Great game, you all have nothing to be ashamed of. Going to need to put up more runs against some of the veteran teams to put yourself in a position to move up to the top. Big statement game next week vs. Orange Jubilee.

8) Mammal Toes (0-1) – It was a coin toss between Ronnie Ronsons and Mammal Toes, but I had to go with experience here. There is some speed on this roster, and with Birdman on the mound they could go far. Any team with David Martinez on it should be playing for the championship, as we all know.

9) Playground Bullies (1-0) – Sweet name. I heard that Rupaul’s Rubber balls played very poorly. I’m not convinced the talent is here just yet. You’ll get another chance to impress next week vs. 15 Witnesses.

10) Kickin It (0-1) – Two runs is nice guys. Not sure what to expect yet. You’ll crack the top 10 if you can impress me next week in a tough matchup vs. Scared Kickless

11) Off Constantly (0-1) – You’re here because you put up some runs and the other three teams did not. Prepare for a lack of mercy next week against the Ligers. My recommendation is to meet them at the bar beforehand and challenge them at beer chugging. Level the playing field if you get what I mean. You can reach their captains at ldussett@bond-us.com and cdusett@hunton.com. I’m not kidding.

12) Rupauls Rubber Balls (0-1) – No runs guys? Come on. You’re only here because you have Steve Mull on your team and that guy was amazing at dodgeball. I’d put him in a position to make plays every inning. Maybe him at charger and Jack Gooding at catcher. Think about it. Tough matchup next week vs. Das Boot. I’ll call the dogs off in the second inning if it turns ugly.

13) 15 Witnesses (0-1) – Tough matchup week one, but you got runners in scoring position a couple times. You get the Playground Bullies this week so there is an opportunity to make up some ground. Impress me.

14) The Surprisingly Appropriate (0-1) – No runs and I had to look up what TSA stood for on kickball.com. Sorry gang. Somebody has to be last. Tough matchup next week vs. Mammal Toes. Put up a couple runs and I’ll see what I can do about moving you up.